- torture -

It is back again.
I am quite certain it is the same one.
The trigger is increasing in a rapid frequency where I couldn't hold it anymore.
This is definitely mental sickness. Can I overcome it all by myself?
I don't need help. All I need is apathy just like last time.
Why would I care so much?

-Love-

Finally I get to know what is Love and....
Even when the impact is great until it can sink an island,
I will still endure because I am not an island, I am a continent...

=(

If everyone is going against, don't fret.
Friends are just mere friends, nothing more nothing less.
Live on your own.
Ditch people instead of getting ditched, this is how we protect ourselves.

- endurance -

How can endurance lead someone until the end of journey? Perhaps the end of journey simply means end of life?

What I experienced so far was an extraordinary gain in endurance and the level of fakeness in me. I was so exhausted and yet I can pretend I am really okay. Just like last time, I accommodate people with despair externally and now I accommodate people with despair internally. Which one is better? which one causes more damage to me overall?

If I am able to go through this for 5 years, I will be champion! at least to myself I am a champion because I really know how capable I am..

- titleless -

What can transparency do?
Transparency will never give us freedom to maneuver. No matter how much we try, we are still visible to others.
Others will know every of our moves.
Concealing or hiding the motives in the moves will be detected by people who are at the same level.
So, what can I do?
Efficient Securities Market?
Simply said, I am just not good enough.

- exciting nightmare -

It's another phase in my life.
I would say I enjoyed it for the past few days. I've prepared well I guess..
I think I chose the correct path enduring and lucky enough to get accepted.
Exposing myself in a successful system is definitely a right choice.
Thank god...

- Social link and Social creation -

Social creation is derived through social link. What society feeds you determines what type of person you are. To me, it is best to be on average where everything is balanced. In a list, if you are on the top where there will be social highlight. Social highlight posts threats and satisfaction as well to the individual. There are intangible and tangible threats that the individual need to accept. Some threats might act as an catalyst where the individual will react positively in shaping him/herself.Some might just bring him/her down.

Sometimes, society's feedback is one of the many indications that clearly shows the individual's position. Interpreting those feedback is an important skill that one should have. Let's talk about sampling, if 10 samples out of 20 delivers the same notion that we should be better, just accept it. The probability of the 10 colluding a general notion is low unless they are from the same social circle.

I couldn't deny that I am a social creation although I tried hard resisting. I don't like to walk alone... life is just too short.