- 27.12.2009 -

Merry Christmas was not as merry as it's title..
I've notice little evilness in people recently,
Like what I think, when you're worst off by xx, other people would be better off by xx.
Well, it is up to you choosing to be worst off or in a state of neutral.
Those people who want to be better off all time will be regarded as boring people to me.
Those selfishness in them creates hatred in others.
On the other hand, those who worst off had to bear the cost, they would feel irritated and exasperated by those BORING people.
When I started to observe, I only see negative flaws....

- 16.12.2009 -

A new phase of stepping quagmire has to be faced by me soon.
The world is always fair..
No matter how hard I try, God still punishes me..
I did not want forgiveness because forgiveness will never exist.
I've learned my lesson and wish to do better currently during this time.
However, what's done is done, nothing can ever turn back..
I've learned how to be faithful and try my best in everything, however the outcome showed that it doesn't matter anymore whether that I've change or otherwise.
YOU have raise the previous Leonard
and I would really thank that you took away the previous me and resurrect the current me.
Days will be as rainy as the weather here now..
It's always gloomy.
Even I tried to "drug" myself, but no permission was gained.
I would really like to accelerate my life so that I have no space to be emotional..
Why can't I take 5 subjects? I don't ever bother about grades already right now..
I guess its more suitable for me to be emotional, since the circumstances are all against me.

- 15.12.2009 -

Half of December 2009 is gone with the wind..
The trip to Penang was nice, although the activities were quite boring, but the consensus back in Penang made me felt contented.
Consensus remains consensus..
I am not in the flow with consensus at my current location..
Ended up doing nothing everyday,
playing games, doing shits all the time..
And can't do shit at times..
Sadly, people are the same..
I wonder, why people like to rush things?
And end up swearing for nothing...
If you knew it, do it quickly...maybe this statement can evidently portray my punctuality in life...
But I can see punctual persons will not be on the advantage side~
Because I ended up spending unnecessary time waiting..
Punctuality goes along with procrastination..
Unless, both parties are punctual, then the story would be different.
Time would be spent efficiently...

- 14.12.2009 -

If death is painless, and it happens that I am having a gun, I would just utilize it on my head.
Loneliness is haunting me again, and of course, why do I feel depressed?
Some people are too aggressive..
Some people don't think before they speak..
Some people don't even know how to adapt to the environment..
Lastly, some people adept in putting masks on their face..
This world is full with nuisances, to me...
Some people find these nuisances are cherishing their lives.
Point of living is distorted when we are having distorted feelings.
Permanent happiness is no longer meaningful if it is permanent.
The term "balanced life" is just merely an ideology and term to console the pain we suffer..
Sometimes, I really don't believe the question that people are not asking you,
As it happens on me all the time and I had to answer it honestly..
It hurts me more and more when reality is distorted and blokes can act according to what they want.
It goes so unnaturally to me and so natural to you..
Outlook and image is never permanent...
When the day images and outlooks are kaput-ed, that's the day you will realize how important is my....

- 13.12.2009 -

Sometimes, it is really difficult to see what is ahead of us.
For instance, the values of society could be deceiving when we literally experience what is the values in the society..
Always think in depth what is behind the literal experience we gained, perhaps even if the literal experience was literal, we could on the other hand, gain extra complementary experience which might be useful in the later part of our life..

Few days ago, I could see that majority of the people are bad.
Maybe, I was generalizing, however, in my point of view, this is the ultimate truth. One goal might be good to individual but reacts as a nuisance to others. I've seen how realistic in "one" person. Well well, it is fine, I couldn't entirely blame him. But I believe, 8 out of 10 people are the same kind of that particular person I mentioned.

-05.12.2009 -

A day without connection to the internet was really suffering..
Evidently, we all are relying on the technology too much..
I can't imagine when I was a teenager, I can live without the internet, I just play games offline. Right now, I have a better computer and I really can't live without the internet.
Internet is like a drug I realised.
On the other hand, I was happy that my sociology lecturer still remember me.
It was fun to have a chat with her..
I've learned substantial things during the conversation..
At least I remember there are still people who remember me..
Life is getting brighter?

- when the sky is dark, the land is wet -
in contrast to - when the sky is empty, the land is dry -

- 02.12.2009 -

Year 2009 is gonna end soon.
Life is so relaxing. Eating, shitting, sleeping are the most basic things recently.
No studying life is really so relaxing...
Fortunately, I see life in my lifeless life. Did not get depress for days, perhaps weeks and maybe a month?
Somehow, recently I see funny people around me.
I knew friendship is important, especially for certain people.
Back then, I was naive, I see nothing in a sentence.
Now, sad to say, I can see thousand of meanings in a sentence.
Is it good to be mature? or knowing more than an average person? or how do we define average?