Merry Christmas was not as merry as it's title..
I've notice little evilness in people recently,
Like what I think, when you're worst off by xx, other people would be better off by xx.
Well, it is up to you choosing to be worst off or in a state of neutral.
Those people who want to be better off all time will be regarded as boring people to me.
Those selfishness in them creates hatred in others.
On the other hand, those who worst off had to bear the cost, they would feel irritated and exasperated by those BORING people.
When I started to observe, I only see negative flaws....
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
- 16.12.2009 -
A new phase of stepping quagmire has to be faced by me soon.
The world is always fair..
No matter how hard I try, God still punishes me..
I did not want forgiveness because forgiveness will never exist.
I've learned my lesson and wish to do better currently during this time.
However, what's done is done, nothing can ever turn back..
I've learned how to be faithful and try my best in everything, however the outcome showed that it doesn't matter anymore whether that I've change or otherwise.
YOU have raise the previous Leonard
and I would really thank that you took away the previous me and resurrect the current me.
Days will be as rainy as the weather here now..
It's always gloomy.
Even I tried to "drug" myself, but no permission was gained.
I would really like to accelerate my life so that I have no space to be emotional..
Why can't I take 5 subjects? I don't ever bother about grades already right now..
I guess its more suitable for me to be emotional, since the circumstances are all against me.
The world is always fair..
No matter how hard I try, God still punishes me..
I did not want forgiveness because forgiveness will never exist.
I've learned my lesson and wish to do better currently during this time.
However, what's done is done, nothing can ever turn back..
I've learned how to be faithful and try my best in everything, however the outcome showed that it doesn't matter anymore whether that I've change or otherwise.
YOU have raise the previous Leonard
and I would really thank that you took away the previous me and resurrect the current me.
Days will be as rainy as the weather here now..
It's always gloomy.
Even I tried to "drug" myself, but no permission was gained.
I would really like to accelerate my life so that I have no space to be emotional..
Why can't I take 5 subjects? I don't ever bother about grades already right now..
I guess its more suitable for me to be emotional, since the circumstances are all against me.
Monday, December 14, 2009
- 15.12.2009 -
Half of December 2009 is gone with the wind..
The trip to Penang was nice, although the activities were quite boring, but the consensus back in Penang made me felt contented.
Consensus remains consensus..
I am not in the flow with consensus at my current location..
Ended up doing nothing everyday,
playing games, doing shits all the time..
And can't do shit at times..
Sadly, people are the same..
I wonder, why people like to rush things?
And end up swearing for nothing...
If you knew it, do it quickly...maybe this statement can evidently portray my punctuality in life...
But I can see punctual persons will not be on the advantage side~
Because I ended up spending unnecessary time waiting..
Punctuality goes along with procrastination..
Unless, both parties are punctual, then the story would be different.
Time would be spent efficiently...
The trip to Penang was nice, although the activities were quite boring, but the consensus back in Penang made me felt contented.
Consensus remains consensus..
I am not in the flow with consensus at my current location..
Ended up doing nothing everyday,
playing games, doing shits all the time..
And can't do shit at times..
Sadly, people are the same..
I wonder, why people like to rush things?
And end up swearing for nothing...
If you knew it, do it quickly...maybe this statement can evidently portray my punctuality in life...
But I can see punctual persons will not be on the advantage side~
Because I ended up spending unnecessary time waiting..
Punctuality goes along with procrastination..
Unless, both parties are punctual, then the story would be different.
Time would be spent efficiently...
Sunday, December 13, 2009
- 14.12.2009 -
If death is painless, and it happens that I am having a gun, I would just utilize it on my head.
Loneliness is haunting me again, and of course, why do I feel depressed?
Some people are too aggressive..
Some people don't think before they speak..
Some people don't even know how to adapt to the environment..
Lastly, some people adept in putting masks on their face..
This world is full with nuisances, to me...
Some people find these nuisances are cherishing their lives.
Point of living is distorted when we are having distorted feelings.
Permanent happiness is no longer meaningful if it is permanent.
The term "balanced life" is just merely an ideology and term to console the pain we suffer..
Sometimes, I really don't believe the question that people are not asking you,
As it happens on me all the time and I had to answer it honestly..
It hurts me more and more when reality is distorted and blokes can act according to what they want.
It goes so unnaturally to me and so natural to you..
Outlook and image is never permanent...
When the day images and outlooks are kaput-ed, that's the day you will realize how important is my....
Loneliness is haunting me again, and of course, why do I feel depressed?
Some people are too aggressive..
Some people don't think before they speak..
Some people don't even know how to adapt to the environment..
Lastly, some people adept in putting masks on their face..
This world is full with nuisances, to me...
Some people find these nuisances are cherishing their lives.
Point of living is distorted when we are having distorted feelings.
Permanent happiness is no longer meaningful if it is permanent.
The term "balanced life" is just merely an ideology and term to console the pain we suffer..
Sometimes, I really don't believe the question that people are not asking you,
As it happens on me all the time and I had to answer it honestly..
It hurts me more and more when reality is distorted and blokes can act according to what they want.
It goes so unnaturally to me and so natural to you..
Outlook and image is never permanent...
When the day images and outlooks are kaput-ed, that's the day you will realize how important is my....
Saturday, December 12, 2009
- 13.12.2009 -
Sometimes, it is really difficult to see what is ahead of us.
For instance, the values of society could be deceiving when we literally experience what is the values in the society..
Always think in depth what is behind the literal experience we gained, perhaps even if the literal experience was literal, we could on the other hand, gain extra complementary experience which might be useful in the later part of our life..
Few days ago, I could see that majority of the people are bad.
Maybe, I was generalizing, however, in my point of view, this is the ultimate truth. One goal might be good to individual but reacts as a nuisance to others. I've seen how realistic in "one" person. Well well, it is fine, I couldn't entirely blame him. But I believe, 8 out of 10 people are the same kind of that particular person I mentioned.
For instance, the values of society could be deceiving when we literally experience what is the values in the society..
Always think in depth what is behind the literal experience we gained, perhaps even if the literal experience was literal, we could on the other hand, gain extra complementary experience which might be useful in the later part of our life..
Few days ago, I could see that majority of the people are bad.
Maybe, I was generalizing, however, in my point of view, this is the ultimate truth. One goal might be good to individual but reacts as a nuisance to others. I've seen how realistic in "one" person. Well well, it is fine, I couldn't entirely blame him. But I believe, 8 out of 10 people are the same kind of that particular person I mentioned.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
-05.12.2009 -
A day without connection to the internet was really suffering..
Evidently, we all are relying on the technology too much..
I can't imagine when I was a teenager, I can live without the internet, I just play games offline. Right now, I have a better computer and I really can't live without the internet.
Internet is like a drug I realised.
On the other hand, I was happy that my sociology lecturer still remember me.
It was fun to have a chat with her..
I've learned substantial things during the conversation..
At least I remember there are still people who remember me..
Life is getting brighter?
- when the sky is dark, the land is wet -
in contrast to - when the sky is empty, the land is dry -
Evidently, we all are relying on the technology too much..
I can't imagine when I was a teenager, I can live without the internet, I just play games offline. Right now, I have a better computer and I really can't live without the internet.
Internet is like a drug I realised.
On the other hand, I was happy that my sociology lecturer still remember me.
It was fun to have a chat with her..
I've learned substantial things during the conversation..
At least I remember there are still people who remember me..
Life is getting brighter?
- when the sky is dark, the land is wet -
in contrast to - when the sky is empty, the land is dry -
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
- 02.12.2009 -
Year 2009 is gonna end soon.
Life is so relaxing. Eating, shitting, sleeping are the most basic things recently.
No studying life is really so relaxing...
Fortunately, I see life in my lifeless life. Did not get depress for days, perhaps weeks and maybe a month?
Somehow, recently I see funny people around me.
I knew friendship is important, especially for certain people.
Back then, I was naive, I see nothing in a sentence.
Now, sad to say, I can see thousand of meanings in a sentence.
Is it good to be mature? or knowing more than an average person? or how do we define average?
Life is so relaxing. Eating, shitting, sleeping are the most basic things recently.
No studying life is really so relaxing...
Fortunately, I see life in my lifeless life. Did not get depress for days, perhaps weeks and maybe a month?
Somehow, recently I see funny people around me.
I knew friendship is important, especially for certain people.
Back then, I was naive, I see nothing in a sentence.
Now, sad to say, I can see thousand of meanings in a sentence.
Is it good to be mature? or knowing more than an average person? or how do we define average?
Friday, November 20, 2009
- 20.11.2009 -
Wow...
That's what I can say,
Examination is over~
Throughout these few days meditating,
I found out that patience is very important in solving dispute, or even avoiding dispute. Patience is virtue in other words.
Maybe I was too tired and with my fatigued condition, I was unable to find fault.
Or even was I completely given up in finding faults?
Well, I just know, big problems arise from small problems.
Just try to solve them step by step..
I would really want to maintain in this kind of form until the day I die..
Recently, the punching machine in the arcade helped me in releasing my inner stress..
Thanks to it..
Well, looking forward for new things to do..
41 more days to my next summer school classes..
That's what I can say,
Examination is over~
Throughout these few days meditating,
I found out that patience is very important in solving dispute, or even avoiding dispute. Patience is virtue in other words.
Maybe I was too tired and with my fatigued condition, I was unable to find fault.
Or even was I completely given up in finding faults?
Well, I just know, big problems arise from small problems.
Just try to solve them step by step..
I would really want to maintain in this kind of form until the day I die..
Recently, the punching machine in the arcade helped me in releasing my inner stress..
Thanks to it..
Well, looking forward for new things to do..
41 more days to my next summer school classes..
Monday, November 16, 2009
- 16.11.2009 -
How could a broken heart be cured if there is no cure or remedy?
Broken heart will always remain as it is..
Even possible that it is cured, there will still be scars.
Events that caused broken heart are too many...
Accumulated rate of broken heart will keep increasing as time in this world increases.
We can lie to the whole world and every humans in the corner of every streets. However, we can't cheat and lie to ourselves that our heart is not broken.
Occurrence means occurrence..
Scars are scattered all over my heart, even the concrete scars appeared on my body..
Even I tried to scrub away those tangible scars, they wouldn't go away.
Same applies to my heart.
Broken heart will always remain as it is..
Even possible that it is cured, there will still be scars.
Events that caused broken heart are too many...
Accumulated rate of broken heart will keep increasing as time in this world increases.
We can lie to the whole world and every humans in the corner of every streets. However, we can't cheat and lie to ourselves that our heart is not broken.
Occurrence means occurrence..
Scars are scattered all over my heart, even the concrete scars appeared on my body..
Even I tried to scrub away those tangible scars, they wouldn't go away.
Same applies to my heart.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
- 15.11.2009 -
In two more days my exam is going to be over.
However,after watching 2012, I think that I would rather hope for the day than continue living after 2012.
Sadly, no doubts, life is full with doubts.
You dislike things about me, yet you yourself can't even realize what I dislike about you.
And yet you continue doing things, and under these circumstances, you still wanted to me to change.
I've gone through thousand miles of sufferings to reach this equilibrium..
Rather adapting, not integrating...
I hate to adapt, where it is somehow one kind of conformity.Like a subordinate to the employer, I have to do whatever he/she orders.
Isn't that good enough?
At least, think before you say something, or even before you proceed moves.
This is like a process of accumulating hatred in life..
Why I wanted to die so badly?
This is because everything is going against me...
I can tolerate your incompleteness...I just need time...
But please do not go beyond my limits and capabilities..
You should compare how I treat you and how I treated others ...
It is like sky and ground...
I feel bored, doing things which are not gaining any appreciation...
At least if you really appreciate, show it a little...
What's the point of keeping it?
I am an ordinary human, I wouldn't know what other people think.
However,after watching 2012, I think that I would rather hope for the day than continue living after 2012.
Sadly, no doubts, life is full with doubts.
You dislike things about me, yet you yourself can't even realize what I dislike about you.
And yet you continue doing things, and under these circumstances, you still wanted to me to change.
I've gone through thousand miles of sufferings to reach this equilibrium..
Rather adapting, not integrating...
I hate to adapt, where it is somehow one kind of conformity.Like a subordinate to the employer, I have to do whatever he/she orders.
Isn't that good enough?
At least, think before you say something, or even before you proceed moves.
This is like a process of accumulating hatred in life..
Why I wanted to die so badly?
This is because everything is going against me...
I can tolerate your incompleteness...I just need time...
But please do not go beyond my limits and capabilities..
You should compare how I treat you and how I treated others ...
It is like sky and ground...
I feel bored, doing things which are not gaining any appreciation...
At least if you really appreciate, show it a little...
What's the point of keeping it?
I am an ordinary human, I wouldn't know what other people think.
Monday, November 9, 2009
- 10.11.2009 -
How will I look good and handsome if I am not handsome?
How will I score good grades when I have no knowledge in that subject?
How will the world be peaceful if there are no good people?
How do we define life when there is no life in someone?
Sometimes, it is really hard to achieve something without much effort and ability.
For instance, good look will never be achieved in a natural way when someone who does not look good. It is considered permanent.
Of course, some may argue, saying plastic surgery would help.
However, this is not natural. Even you look good, you will never be able to forget how you once looked like previously. That is traumatic.
Accepting casualty and unfortunate events might be stressful.
Despite of all that, we still have to face the world.
Humans define what are good looking and good grades.
Will the world reverse until this extent where people think the current ugly people are good looking in future?
To be honest, this is fucking fine with me..
Not because I am, but I wish to see a reversing world where bad people turns good.
How will I score good grades when I have no knowledge in that subject?
How will the world be peaceful if there are no good people?
How do we define life when there is no life in someone?
Sometimes, it is really hard to achieve something without much effort and ability.
For instance, good look will never be achieved in a natural way when someone who does not look good. It is considered permanent.
Of course, some may argue, saying plastic surgery would help.
However, this is not natural. Even you look good, you will never be able to forget how you once looked like previously. That is traumatic.
Accepting casualty and unfortunate events might be stressful.
Despite of all that, we still have to face the world.
Humans define what are good looking and good grades.
Will the world reverse until this extent where people think the current ugly people are good looking in future?
To be honest, this is fucking fine with me..
Not because I am, but I wish to see a reversing world where bad people turns good.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
- 07.10.2009 -
Weird things coming and passing by all the time,
I tried to adjust myself..
However, my adjustments did not do any good..
People just don't adjust.
Hence, my adjustments meant nothing..
Examination is on Monday, yet I did not do any productive revisions.
The answer to life will be solved not by answer 1+1=2 but 1+1=0.
What happened to this world?
Imagine, a lecturer which could not communicate well,perhaps, can't communicate at all is teaching Communication In Business. Seriously, is this correct?
I tried to look at this matter with the Functionalist point of view, but somehow I did not see any relation which will be tied up with the other variable or variables.
It is not like thieves and policemen.
Maybe in this way it sounds better:
"In order to create a healthy society, hatred should be in the role of creating a healthy society".
"Maybe she is the one which is generating hatred..."
If God exists, please put a full stop to the world.
I tried to adjust myself..
However, my adjustments did not do any good..
People just don't adjust.
Hence, my adjustments meant nothing..
Examination is on Monday, yet I did not do any productive revisions.
The answer to life will be solved not by answer 1+1=2 but 1+1=0.
What happened to this world?
Imagine, a lecturer which could not communicate well,perhaps, can't communicate at all is teaching Communication In Business. Seriously, is this correct?
I tried to look at this matter with the Functionalist point of view, but somehow I did not see any relation which will be tied up with the other variable or variables.
It is not like thieves and policemen.
Maybe in this way it sounds better:
"In order to create a healthy society, hatred should be in the role of creating a healthy society".
"Maybe she is the one which is generating hatred..."
If God exists, please put a full stop to the world.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
- 04.11.2009 -
This blog is all about you!
First of all, FUCK YOU! Literally, FUCK YOU!
This is subjected to FATLEE!
Can you actually communicate well with students?
No doubts, it is a NO.
Are you very good in English.
No doubts, with your mediocre English.
Do you deserve respect from me?
No doubts, NO.
Does a person who is different from the rest deserve to get a different mark?
I am still wondering, are you actually qualified to mark papers and grade students' performance?
Oh man, Oh man, I've never seen any people who exasperated me until I can actually blog the shit of this particular person.
Anyway, to close the curtain, I would say
FUCK you again!
First of all, FUCK YOU! Literally, FUCK YOU!
This is subjected to FATLEE!
Can you actually communicate well with students?
No doubts, it is a NO.
Are you very good in English.
No doubts, with your mediocre English.
Do you deserve respect from me?
No doubts, NO.
Does a person who is different from the rest deserve to get a different mark?
I am still wondering, are you actually qualified to mark papers and grade students' performance?
Oh man, Oh man, I've never seen any people who exasperated me until I can actually blog the shit of this particular person.
Anyway, to close the curtain, I would say
FUCK you again!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
- 31.10.2009 -
Why destiny is so cruel?
Some people are just so selfish to the extent they don't even bother.
And it happened that the selfish people are my close ones.
This sucks badly.
Well, no offense, but I really wish you all will be buried in hell.
Following by my death as well..
Why this gotta be related to me?
I want a peaceful life, which and where I couldn't get. Even after I explained in detail.They just don't bother.
Is life really worth this way?
Why can't I go solo normally?
Why must I stuck in between..
There are so many "whys" without answers in my life.
And worst part is..The answers will not be available..
I wish the world could leave me entirely...
Perhaps when the lighting strikes me, I would save my last breath to say "thank you God".
Some people are just so selfish to the extent they don't even bother.
And it happened that the selfish people are my close ones.
This sucks badly.
Well, no offense, but I really wish you all will be buried in hell.
Following by my death as well..
Why this gotta be related to me?
I want a peaceful life, which and where I couldn't get. Even after I explained in detail.They just don't bother.
Is life really worth this way?
Why can't I go solo normally?
Why must I stuck in between..
There are so many "whys" without answers in my life.
And worst part is..The answers will not be available..
I wish the world could leave me entirely...
Perhaps when the lighting strikes me, I would save my last breath to say "thank you God".
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
- 29.10.2009 -
Intention is important in everything.
When there are no intentions, there wouldn't be any actions.
Intentions create actions.
Well, no intention to blog. But somehow, the action existed moments ago.
For the first time, I felt weak and needed help from people.
However, even I can't, I will also not seek help from people.
My lecturer said once, "there won't be any advantage in a company for lone rangers."
During that moment, my thoughts on this statement sounded logical.
Well, I will try my best to break through this cycle, as lone ranger's nature is bonded with me already. Again, there's nothing much I could do.
On the bright side, I actually strategized the plans weeks ahead..
Well, if nothing goes wrong, I assume, I will be able to make this through again, of course, and certainly, with great obstacles.
When there are no intentions, there wouldn't be any actions.
Intentions create actions.
Well, no intention to blog. But somehow, the action existed moments ago.
For the first time, I felt weak and needed help from people.
However, even I can't, I will also not seek help from people.
My lecturer said once, "there won't be any advantage in a company for lone rangers."
During that moment, my thoughts on this statement sounded logical.
Well, I will try my best to break through this cycle, as lone ranger's nature is bonded with me already. Again, there's nothing much I could do.
On the bright side, I actually strategized the plans weeks ahead..
Well, if nothing goes wrong, I assume, I will be able to make this through again, of course, and certainly, with great obstacles.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
- 15.10.2009 -
Today is the day that there will be a big hole in my world and life..
Perhaps, I was wrong..but.. you knew me well.. Challenging me in the morning would lead to no good at all...
In my previous relationship, you were there..
In this late one, there will be no one which will guide me through my destiny..
The trade-off of the happiness that I enjoyed was the time forgone and the current sadness that I am experiencing. Nothing is free in this world..
Perhaps, I could not and cannot make it through this time. If it happens, please forgive me.. life is vague and I don't see any reasons to survive. Mission statement had abolished hours ago..
I am just an object without life in this world..I don't feel and see any goals.
I think I can't even be a "half pail full person"...
I can't achieve my goals and purpose.
What's the point of staying here?
Perhaps, I was wrong..but.. you knew me well.. Challenging me in the morning would lead to no good at all...
In my previous relationship, you were there..
In this late one, there will be no one which will guide me through my destiny..
The trade-off of the happiness that I enjoyed was the time forgone and the current sadness that I am experiencing. Nothing is free in this world..
Perhaps, I could not and cannot make it through this time. If it happens, please forgive me.. life is vague and I don't see any reasons to survive. Mission statement had abolished hours ago..
I am just an object without life in this world..I don't feel and see any goals.
I think I can't even be a "half pail full person"...
I can't achieve my goals and purpose.
What's the point of staying here?
- 14.10.2009 -
She said , " when you wanna do something, do it nicely", "would you like to be half pail empty or half pail full?"..
Wow,these statements motivated me..
However, it is not good to be too optimistic...
As I failed many times while I was in the optimistic mode..
Optimistic rate goes linearly with the expectations ..When you are optimistic, your expectations are usually high as well..When you fail, degree of sadness and depression will also be high.When you start a relationship, you will always want good outcome from it. But who knows what is going to happen in the future?
Scars over my body were the outcome of my optimistic behavior last time..
Wow,these statements motivated me..
However, it is not good to be too optimistic...
As I failed many times while I was in the optimistic mode..
Optimistic rate goes linearly with the expectations ..When you are optimistic, your expectations are usually high as well..When you fail, degree of sadness and depression will also be high.When you start a relationship, you will always want good outcome from it. But who knows what is going to happen in the future?
Scars over my body were the outcome of my optimistic behavior last time..
Sunday, October 11, 2009
- 12.10.2009 -
As I looked at my right hand, I felt disappointed...
My crooked ring finger made me think back of what I've done..
Basically, it was just stupid to be precise..
Nothing much I could do...
I just have to bear with my stupidity....
I realized my right hand is actually irrecoverable due to serious injuries.
Well, at least my right hand recovered...
Back then, it took me nearly 1 1/2 years to recover before the pain completely disappeared.
We humans proceed with our emotions that caused us lots of casualties..
But we can't do a single shit because we never can completely control ourselves.
My crooked ring finger made me think back of what I've done..
Basically, it was just stupid to be precise..
Nothing much I could do...
I just have to bear with my stupidity....
I realized my right hand is actually irrecoverable due to serious injuries.
Well, at least my right hand recovered...
Back then, it took me nearly 1 1/2 years to recover before the pain completely disappeared.
We humans proceed with our emotions that caused us lots of casualties..
But we can't do a single shit because we never can completely control ourselves.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
- 02.10. 2009 -
If there is capacity to test my elasticity, better do not..
I am not like a regular rubber which the main attribute of it is high with elasticity.
If there will be next time, you will know...
I mean what I said, I mean it...
Life is a valueless item to me....
So, there is nothing more important than my valueless life..
Better watch out..
I have low elasticity...
I might look like an " I don't mind " guy ..
But when it comes to important things, what I said is what I meant.
I am not like a regular rubber which the main attribute of it is high with elasticity.
If there will be next time, you will know...
I mean what I said, I mean it...
Life is a valueless item to me....
So, there is nothing more important than my valueless life..
Better watch out..
I have low elasticity...
I might look like an " I don't mind " guy ..
But when it comes to important things, what I said is what I meant.
- 02.09.2009 -
World with doubts is a dull place to reside in...
Disappointment is the word again...
I felt stupid for being cheated again..
Betrayed by friends is sufficient enough...
Worst part was ... even lover contributed a fraction in the betrayal...
World is a chamber of torture...
Disappointment is the word again...
I felt stupid for being cheated again..
Betrayed by friends is sufficient enough...
Worst part was ... even lover contributed a fraction in the betrayal...
World is a chamber of torture...
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
- 29.09.2009 -
I wonder why this world is full with rubbish and shits.
Why?
Faggots do suck badly, even in front or at the back, they suck the same as well..
Is this a challenge by GOD or something?
Why life is so difficult?
Scrolling down the contacts, I found no one to share
Worst part was, even the nearby one was also the same.
Why humans are so fucking selfish?
Seriously, death is the best alternative for a real life.
Why?
Faggots do suck badly, even in front or at the back, they suck the same as well..
Is this a challenge by GOD or something?
Why life is so difficult?
Scrolling down the contacts, I found no one to share
Worst part was, even the nearby one was also the same.
Why humans are so fucking selfish?
Seriously, death is the best alternative for a real life.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
- 26.09.2009 -
可不可以愛我-盧學叡
The song above shows a true picture of life.. are there guys facing the same situation as him?
In this mv, the value is simple, the rich one owns and wins the battle.. Poverty is the key to fail in battles!
Is it that poor people have to lose out in relationship?
I wish I am not like the person who is singing the song!
The song above shows a true picture of life.. are there guys facing the same situation as him?
In this mv, the value is simple, the rich one owns and wins the battle.. Poverty is the key to fail in battles!
Is it that poor people have to lose out in relationship?
I wish I am not like the person who is singing the song!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
- 22.09.2009 -
What a complacent day after so many tedious and sleepless nights. Today finally can feel free from stress.. Perhaps for 1 mere day only? Yep, the answer is 1 day only. Assignments stress is so common for undergraduates.. God damnit..If we could endure and bear with assignment stress, we are already getting our degree.. I did indulged myself by shopping.. It has been quite some time since I last bought things for myself, in a free conscience..
What is haunting me? Loneliness? I've passed so many couples, families and even soloist in the shopping mall. Perhaps, the highest ratio was families, followed by couples and lastly soloist. In fact, I did not see soloist which the number is more than 10. Well, the worst part was, I counted myself as the soloist. XD.
As usual, the legacy says that Leonard's assignment is always not the edge in his academic.The legacy remains true.. The pro is... at least, I acquire some oxygen earlier compared to others..
What is haunting me? Loneliness? I've passed so many couples, families and even soloist in the shopping mall. Perhaps, the highest ratio was families, followed by couples and lastly soloist. In fact, I did not see soloist which the number is more than 10. Well, the worst part was, I counted myself as the soloist. XD.
As usual, the legacy says that Leonard's assignment is always not the edge in his academic.The legacy remains true.. The pro is... at least, I acquire some oxygen earlier compared to others..
Thursday, September 17, 2009
- 17.09.2009 -
She said, "are you Leonard Ng?, You just attend my lectures but not tutorial". Immediately, I got a thunderbolt from her. I was like..Do I really have face problem or something? I was so upset during that moment. How could someone so "prominent" like me got this kind of issue. Well, I answered her calmly, "yea miss, I attended all your classes but not yesterday because I was sick". Well,the issue here is: am I really that isolated from the society? Well, I mean... I attended all her classes.Maybe she could not recognize me..But it's okay. Because to me, she is still a good and dedicated lecturer...
Friday, September 11, 2009
- 12.09.2009 -
This is real near... 6 more days to my mid semester test.. for 2 units..
Can I make it to distinction level within 6 days? each subject for 3 days? Possibly not..
Well. I will try my best..
Can I make it to distinction level within 6 days? each subject for 3 days? Possibly not..
Well. I will try my best..
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
- 08.09.2009 -
I realised something important today, life without you is pretty darn boring...
I give up..
I give up..
Sunday, September 6, 2009
- 06.09.2009 -
How could someone spin so many rounds like what M.J did.. How could people sing as good as B.E.P. How could someone do something as vexing as pest as you do..
The answer is simple, this can be defined as "Talent". As being pest and vexing to other people is a talent as well. Some people will torment others by how they behave and how they speak. This is seriously high degree of talent in some people...
And tolerating with their pestNESS is also a talent.. I am talented in other words..
In a nutshell, everyone is talented in this world..
The answer is simple, this can be defined as "Talent". As being pest and vexing to other people is a talent as well. Some people will torment others by how they behave and how they speak. This is seriously high degree of talent in some people...
And tolerating with their pestNESS is also a talent.. I am talented in other words..
In a nutshell, everyone is talented in this world..
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
- 02.09.2009 -
Expectation is not as simple as expecting a baby...Expectation comes with a great price.Some people don't even have simple manners and their impoliteness really pissed me off.Why? because I expected too much from humans.. that is why I have to pay the price(exasperation that I experienced). This is sad.. really sad.. how could people demand something without any manners. At least, say "please" or "can you".. Why can't they do that? Every single day there will be great exasperating moment for me because I expect too much from people.. This world is really going to end...
Sunday, August 30, 2009
- 31.08.2009 -
Is God implying something in my dream?
Is God trying to say that I am missing something?
Yea, perhaps it is true..
It was told that balancing in life is really important..
He was portrayed as a more perfect person..In friends and relationship..
A relationship which is not considered a relationship really hurts me so much..
To admit, I really can't do shit...
Because it is too shitty..
Had to force myself to sleep at 9 pm..how pathetic..
Like is said, there is no such thing as "reliability"..even it applies on you...
Is God trying to say that I am missing something?
Yea, perhaps it is true..
It was told that balancing in life is really important..
He was portrayed as a more perfect person..In friends and relationship..
A relationship which is not considered a relationship really hurts me so much..
To admit, I really can't do shit...
Because it is too shitty..
Had to force myself to sleep at 9 pm..how pathetic..
Like is said, there is no such thing as "reliability"..even it applies on you...
Saturday, August 29, 2009
- 30.08.2009 -
When it comes to the word "reliability", there is no 100% of "reliability" where the variable is humans. Besides, even machines or software will not give us 100% assurance. Previous days I experience the true meaning of "reliability". Even when it comes to close "objects", it should be noted that we should deduct at least 10% of the reliability. Condoms do not give 100% assurance as well. 99.9% is just a comfortable figure to ease humans anxiety..Thus, the gist of this short blog post is -nothing is reliable in this world-.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
- 26.08.2009 -
Malaysia Independence day is coming soon.5 days from now.. However, I am not affected by it(after encoding my phrase). What can I say? Yesterday was a bad day, all things went wrong. Got mocked by my lecturer.. She didn't even listen shit.. what could she expect? Besides, "LORRY DRIVERS" again, piece of crap... no wonder they ended up being lorry drivers. To me, they are all similar.Why? Because what I see becomes what I think. I couldn't generalize, but come to think of this, 10 out of 10 samples did the same thing.. Rudeness is the word. Impoliteness caused me to hate and despise them more and even more...Seriously, an ethical course should be implemented and made compulsory for all those shits. Finally, loads of assignments are coming..actually I've done quite a number of them already.. =(
Thursday, August 20, 2009
- 21.08.2009 -
Affections turned to sympathy..
Truth hurts, but the actual truth hurts even more.
Hence, in conclusion, truth and actual truth hurts even more..
I cant deny, things changed..
I can't do shit..
On the surface, it looks calm, but deep inside, its having earthquake every moment,
It's sad to be true..
Once happened, it is hard to reform,
When reformation does not occur,
There will be different outcomes,
As I know, It was like a brittle statue ...
Where I admit,partially was my fault,
Where the bond was strong, but brittle...
Part of the affections was completely turned to sympathy..
Maybe it is your nature,
I tried to adapt,but its too hard,
Consequence is still the same,
Sacrifices are made less until now,
That will ease me for the time being...
Truth hurts, but the actual truth hurts even more.
Hence, in conclusion, truth and actual truth hurts even more..
I cant deny, things changed..
I can't do shit..
On the surface, it looks calm, but deep inside, its having earthquake every moment,
It's sad to be true..
Once happened, it is hard to reform,
When reformation does not occur,
There will be different outcomes,
As I know, It was like a brittle statue ...
Where I admit,partially was my fault,
Where the bond was strong, but brittle...
Part of the affections was completely turned to sympathy..
Maybe it is your nature,
I tried to adapt,but its too hard,
Consequence is still the same,
Sacrifices are made less until now,
That will ease me for the time being...
Monday, August 17, 2009
- 17.09.2009 -
Why mathematics is so difficult for me to learn?
I couldn't really understand until this moment..
Mathematics is objective as I know..My mindset is "subjectivity". In other words, there are no concrete theories, even 1+1 = 2.. How am I supposed to pass this exam? I tried very hard but yet it is not as fruitful as I thought.. Even if I fail this unit, there is not excuse for failing, where failing is just failing..Back to life, I am back to badminton, where I enjoy seeing my shots with high gradient moving forward inside the court.. I gotta buck up my gradients.xD.. Guess there are no other alternatives for nice smashes..I gotta do it the hard way..
I couldn't really understand until this moment..
Mathematics is objective as I know..My mindset is "subjectivity". In other words, there are no concrete theories, even 1+1 = 2.. How am I supposed to pass this exam? I tried very hard but yet it is not as fruitful as I thought.. Even if I fail this unit, there is not excuse for failing, where failing is just failing..Back to life, I am back to badminton, where I enjoy seeing my shots with high gradient moving forward inside the court.. I gotta buck up my gradients.xD.. Guess there are no other alternatives for nice smashes..I gotta do it the hard way..
Saturday, August 15, 2009
- 15.08.2009 -
Today, lorry drivers honked and flashlighted me again.. This time was worst, I was on the left lane.. It seems that there are many idiots who don't deserve staying in this world.. But sadly, they are a function in the society,according to the functionalist view. Sad to say, a function that provides anti peacefulness to the society..During that moment, seriously, I was so frustrated that I actually cursed them..And the worst part that, they contributed as a fraction in my life. I just cant avoid them because they are all around the country. Well, on top of that, my life consists of few friends around me, yet why would someone tries to minimize my friends even my friends were all minimized by me already. A simple life is like a simple company;entity which has a goal in their existence.A company's goal is to reap profit, as much as they could. For humans, I believe, is to get as much happiness as they could. For me, nothing seems to be happy because my life is not really that easy. Can religion really help me out? I don't think so, even for Jesus and Buddha, they both could not provide me an understanding of life.. Buddhism does not make me understand why I have to tolerate with others, gain peace in life while Jesus provided me a vague concept..
Thursday, August 13, 2009
- 13.08.2009 -
Well,firstly,after a year having this dog,I would introduce this dog who stays with my family. Her name is Sexy,she is a SHITzu,Well, her name is related to SHIT as well, it is SEK SI in cantonese, that's all.. Well, she is quite a nice dog, which she is very energetic,sometimes overly energetic and acts as morning alarm to the family.
Well, in relation,the first picture shows how Malaysians drive on the road.. I believe all those bastards that HONKED and FLASH LIGHTED me would end up being as the unfortunate car as shown in the picture..
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
- 12.08.2009 -
As usual, the tiredness which is bonded with me 24/7 since semester 2 commenced...
Nothing I could do about it..Well, I decided to spend 5 minutes to blog..
This morning was a breezy morning..A good start I assume.. Well, the breeziness made me think back of the game Final Fantasy 8 where this game gave me a breezy feeling last time.I kind of miss this game actually,*except the Fire Cavern part.. I have to wait until 10am for class.How sad it is..2 hours doing nothing in the Resource center..Recently, a girl from my college was quarantined due to H1N1..What can I conclude here? H1N1 is near.. It is a good thing for me and bad thing for others. According to my friend, H1N1 will not likely to kill a teenager. Besides, other sources educated me that H1N1 will only kill those people who are diagnosed with other sickness.. Diabetes? XD. wow..nothing much I could blog today.But the I really like nice wind that soothed me~
Nothing I could do about it..Well, I decided to spend 5 minutes to blog..
This morning was a breezy morning..A good start I assume.. Well, the breeziness made me think back of the game Final Fantasy 8 where this game gave me a breezy feeling last time.I kind of miss this game actually,*except the Fire Cavern part.. I have to wait until 10am for class.How sad it is..2 hours doing nothing in the Resource center..Recently, a girl from my college was quarantined due to H1N1..What can I conclude here? H1N1 is near.. It is a good thing for me and bad thing for others. According to my friend, H1N1 will not likely to kill a teenager. Besides, other sources educated me that H1N1 will only kill those people who are diagnosed with other sickness.. Diabetes? XD. wow..nothing much I could blog today.But the I really like nice wind that soothed me~
Monday, August 10, 2009
- T i m e -
Time does not wait for anyone in this world nor things..Time is the most selfish "thing" in the world. It does not see how pain one is..It does not stop and let one finishes his exam..it just goes on and on and on besides depreciating things,humans and ages living beings..One would never outrun the moon, yet one can never overlap the time. I saw how sad one it is when time does not wait.. But time is the only thing that I valued and value so far..Because only time can bring me to other phase of/after life..I am waiting patiently for the time being..Without time, 2012 will not be seen in life..I am waiting for the big day,which I truly hope the world would end..Time could be angel or devil in everyone's different perspective..For me, it is an angel..
Saturday, August 8, 2009
- H1N1 Outbreak Vs Zombies Outbreak -
H1N1, as a prominent virus which appeared months ago where everyone was so scared they are infected by it. In contrast, the idea from the game, Resident Evil, or Biohazard where T-virus caused humans turn to zombies. Which virus would I prefer? I prefer zombies outbreak where humans lose their senses as a human.. Well, human's sense is the most dangerous weapon on earth,that is what I always think. H1N1 virus would still let humans retain their senses, but not the T-virus.
The world with 100% zombie population or 100% H1N1 patients? I would choose 100% zombie populations, where one fine day,all zombies will be diminished, the present world be safe; as I assume there would be no technological changes;technological stop. On the other hand, if 100% humans are H1N1 patients, they will still advance in researching, where they would try their best to save humans; as how noble they claimed to be.. Whereas, the earth would continue to deplete. Humans cause the earth to depreciate faster. Even if they are not the factor of earth's depreciation, they would be the catalyst of earth's depreciation...
I wish there will really be a start in zombies outbreak one day..
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
- 06.08.2009 -
How could I survive? How could I survive with 3 hours sleep a day..With classes and no additional sleeping hours during weekends? It brought me back to 3 years ago where I went to National Service. The morning fresh air creates a threshold to survive although there were stress and anxiety during that moment. The same concept I survived until today. Well, there is this particular place where I could get fresh air. Not every location that contains fresh air. This particular location I discovered after I paid the for the toll. And I drove fast ..This particular place provides me a sense of surviving every morning. I wish this is so gonna end soon. I am tired, extremely tired, with syllabuses and... Yea,TIRED is the word. Sleepless night, not to say 30 minutes to get me asleep, it's hours..sometimes 2 to 3 hours .. The moment of I slept was the moment I woke up because of the alarm clock. Sadly,nothing I could do, skipping classes is going to make me waste 1 year, or maybe months. I knew if I don't struggle, I am going to fail any units that I enrolled so far..Sadly, this is my destiny - My Life, My Destiny - ...But I believe, if I am able to endure for 2 more years, my life would be a complete complete! I mean as in sleeping hours, now I knew that sleeping really meant a lot to me. And the worst part is, during holidays,I did not really utilize my time sleeping. Sleeping is cool, the best friend of everyone in this world. I shall say, I don't need a true friend or "so-called" best friend, but inevitably, sleeping is my best friend...Perhaps, I am obsessed with sleeping..This is the best gift that God gave me for this year. Well, I wish I could sleep forever....like nobody's business...
Saturday, August 1, 2009
- 02.08.2009 -
29 more days until Malaysia's big day..
I am looking forward for it..where I can sleep more and rest more but not waking up early and go for the congestion in the parade....
Statistics as a subject is hard.. even basic statistics could really kill me..
Why? The simplest answer is because Stats is Maths..Yesterday, I spent whole day plotting few ogives and histograms. They were extremely hard to be plotted..It is not really difficult but my brain has a bizarre notion which blocks mostly of all the absorption of maths knowledge.. I even had to memorize what to write on the bottom axis and top axis.. oh my god..
Fortunately, this challenge is extreme and quite risky.. But I believe if I put effort, I could do it.. The aim for this subject is Credit, maximally Distinction.. Honestly, I can't even smell high distinction..xD xD
I am looking forward for it..where I can sleep more and rest more but not waking up early and go for the congestion in the parade....
Statistics as a subject is hard.. even basic statistics could really kill me..
Why? The simplest answer is because Stats is Maths..Yesterday, I spent whole day plotting few ogives and histograms. They were extremely hard to be plotted..It is not really difficult but my brain has a bizarre notion which blocks mostly of all the absorption of maths knowledge.. I even had to memorize what to write on the bottom axis and top axis.. oh my god..
Fortunately, this challenge is extreme and quite risky.. But I believe if I put effort, I could do it.. The aim for this subject is Credit, maximally Distinction.. Honestly, I can't even smell high distinction..xD xD
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
- 30.07.2009 -
Sitting at the corner of the pc room, previously was MacDonalds, staring at the clock waiting it to reach 10.00 , however, it seems slow..
Well, time is a torturing one ... especially when I am waiting.. There's nothing much I could do right now, feeling disappointed actually.. Perhaps, I should not expect that much from my education program..I wish I could end this shit as fast I could..
My friend asked me to read newspaper.. But in my point of view, newspaper is filtered by the authority..Sadly, newspaper actually shape people's thinking ...That's not really a fact though,but it is a fact in sociology,that's what I learned years ago. Some read it for entertainment..For me,I read newspaper occasionally just for the sake of reading..For me, I enjoy seeing disasters than landed on human, as such Tsunamis and Earthquakes.. It is a fact that this world is overpopulated and the highly populated world is a factor of congestion.. Biological weapons, nuclear weapons, powerful weapons,they are all bullshit ... nothing can be more dangerous than human being..Humans fight for space and oxygen. The higher the quantity of humans, the lower the space for them..
Humanity should come to an end ...
Some people would leave,some people would stay,voluntarily or involuntarily..
The question is "why is it so difficult to die?"
Well, time is a torturing one ... especially when I am waiting.. There's nothing much I could do right now, feeling disappointed actually.. Perhaps, I should not expect that much from my education program..I wish I could end this shit as fast I could..
My friend asked me to read newspaper.. But in my point of view, newspaper is filtered by the authority..Sadly, newspaper actually shape people's thinking ...That's not really a fact though,but it is a fact in sociology,that's what I learned years ago. Some read it for entertainment..For me,I read newspaper occasionally just for the sake of reading..For me, I enjoy seeing disasters than landed on human, as such Tsunamis and Earthquakes.. It is a fact that this world is overpopulated and the highly populated world is a factor of congestion.. Biological weapons, nuclear weapons, powerful weapons,they are all bullshit ... nothing can be more dangerous than human being..Humans fight for space and oxygen. The higher the quantity of humans, the lower the space for them..
Humanity should come to an end ...
Some people would leave,some people would stay,voluntarily or involuntarily..
The question is "why is it so difficult to die?"
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
- 29.07.2009 -
This post today is mainly about a part of humanity..
I just couldn't stand why humans are hasty and do not think..This statement goes to me as well.. How could I tolerate nuisance from such thing.. For example, the speed limit on the road is 60 km/j and I was driving 60km/j.. There is just a driver honking and flash lighting me.. Imagine, how peaceful if everyone manages their time and resources efficiently, I can forsee there would be an efficient society as well.. I assumed that the driver who did that to me was rushing to work or something.. And worst part was.. I had to bear the cost of his externality.. This is just part of the statement. The worse thing I observed was 90% of the people daily can be categorized as "perform without thinking and even observing". The speed limit has its reason, and the sign there has its reason as well.. Are they blind? I wish 2012 is really the day that the world is going to end.. People like that are worst than animals. For me, I tried my best to think,although it takes more time.. I can even relate this statement to the people I met years ago, months ago... Most of them are the same...At least I realize how important it is to think before proceeding.. If I could reach 100% calmness and 0% hastiness.. I probably already achieve the goal as a human..
I just couldn't stand why humans are hasty and do not think..This statement goes to me as well.. How could I tolerate nuisance from such thing.. For example, the speed limit on the road is 60 km/j and I was driving 60km/j.. There is just a driver honking and flash lighting me.. Imagine, how peaceful if everyone manages their time and resources efficiently, I can forsee there would be an efficient society as well.. I assumed that the driver who did that to me was rushing to work or something.. And worst part was.. I had to bear the cost of his externality.. This is just part of the statement. The worse thing I observed was 90% of the people daily can be categorized as "perform without thinking and even observing". The speed limit has its reason, and the sign there has its reason as well.. Are they blind? I wish 2012 is really the day that the world is going to end.. People like that are worst than animals. For me, I tried my best to think,although it takes more time.. I can even relate this statement to the people I met years ago, months ago... Most of them are the same...At least I realize how important it is to think before proceeding.. If I could reach 100% calmness and 0% hastiness.. I probably already achieve the goal as a human..
- 28.07.2009 -
Today is the day I attended my 1st CIB (Communication in Business) class.. Well, it was a 3 hours class but reduced to 2 1/2 hours just for today..It was and can be said is a blessing that my lecturer turned out to be a nice one. How fortunate this world will be if 90% of the people are so nice and polite. Perhaps, this is her job and she as a CIB lecturer has to communicate nicely to others, convey her messages efficiently.
This subject is essential for my future I assume. Even if I scored a pass in my Accounting, but I think scoring a distinction in this subject will alleviate me to a better level. Well, technically it is important to score in my MAIN subjects such as accounting and finance.. But, I can forsee how important is COMMUNICATION in future..
After today's class, I can see how poor is my communication skill in real life.. The equilibrium I "achieved" so far I assume was due to my communication skill. Maybe, this is because me myself chose this path but not my communication skill...I still see no light of hope in humans after all...Nothing will change, everything remains the same..
This subject is essential for my future I assume. Even if I scored a pass in my Accounting, but I think scoring a distinction in this subject will alleviate me to a better level. Well, technically it is important to score in my MAIN subjects such as accounting and finance.. But, I can forsee how important is COMMUNICATION in future..
After today's class, I can see how poor is my communication skill in real life.. The equilibrium I "achieved" so far I assume was due to my communication skill. Maybe, this is because me myself chose this path but not my communication skill...I still see no light of hope in humans after all...Nothing will change, everything remains the same..
Friday, July 24, 2009
- 25.07.2009 -
Well, holiday left 2 mere days.
Been busy in clicking and clicking in facebook applications...
Especially in pet society..
Hence,it's all coming to an end...
Feet injuries due to basketball, thus can relax and recuperate myself for days..
However,going back classes is a pain in the ass because I have to walk in college..
In addition, my new units will not be as easy as before because it is all about mathematics and this is my weakness. Fortunately, I still have my burning desire inside that I will make the best out of it.. At the end of the day, I will find out which factor will be outlasted by the other factor...Living in an optimistic way is the same as pessimistic way because they two hold one similar truth, which is reality..
I have to endure for the next 14 weeks..
Been busy in clicking and clicking in facebook applications...
Especially in pet society..
Hence,it's all coming to an end...
Feet injuries due to basketball, thus can relax and recuperate myself for days..
However,going back classes is a pain in the ass because I have to walk in college..
In addition, my new units will not be as easy as before because it is all about mathematics and this is my weakness. Fortunately, I still have my burning desire inside that I will make the best out of it.. At the end of the day, I will find out which factor will be outlasted by the other factor...Living in an optimistic way is the same as pessimistic way because they two hold one similar truth, which is reality..
I have to endure for the next 14 weeks..
Monday, July 20, 2009
- 21.07.2009 -
Holiday is going to end for me..Well,I wish and hope semester 2 will be a nice semester...Hopefully there are no nuisances and idiots in semester 2.
Well, what goes around comes back around.. The karma cycle... The vicious cycle of a phenomenon.. Blacks remained and labeled as "criminals" last time...
I believe, one fine day,I would break and free myself from "this" cycle..I had enough of this shit already since last 2 years. I felt tormented and suffered from mental breakdown when I get to know the "truth"..
Impartiality will never be real... And worst part was I have and had to bear the cost of idiots and nuisances..and it turned out I am the most fragile and it SHOULD be a priority to protect me..but it was other way round.. Well, even one fine day when I successfully break out and free myself from this cycle, I promise that I would treat others good..Perhaps as a token of appreciation or otherwise..
I could see how dangerous people are..sometimes, I hold my tears and sometimes, I couldn't. Well, this would be a nice lesson to me as I see what quality Malaysians have. I couldn't generalize that all humans are the same..but trust me, all are alike..because we share one common thing.. BLOOD COLOUR.. sometimes I even wished that I have blood which is BLUE in colour..Well,it will never happen..
My biggest wish in this world is not wealth, nor successful life..
To terminate the entire human race...
Life is all about hatred and grudges...
Well, what goes around comes back around.. The karma cycle... The vicious cycle of a phenomenon.. Blacks remained and labeled as "criminals" last time...
I believe, one fine day,I would break and free myself from "this" cycle..I had enough of this shit already since last 2 years. I felt tormented and suffered from mental breakdown when I get to know the "truth"..
Impartiality will never be real... And worst part was I have and had to bear the cost of idiots and nuisances..and it turned out I am the most fragile and it SHOULD be a priority to protect me..but it was other way round.. Well, even one fine day when I successfully break out and free myself from this cycle, I promise that I would treat others good..Perhaps as a token of appreciation or otherwise..
I could see how dangerous people are..sometimes, I hold my tears and sometimes, I couldn't. Well, this would be a nice lesson to me as I see what quality Malaysians have. I couldn't generalize that all humans are the same..but trust me, all are alike..because we share one common thing.. BLOOD COLOUR.. sometimes I even wished that I have blood which is BLUE in colour..Well,it will never happen..
My biggest wish in this world is not wealth, nor successful life..
To terminate the entire human race...
Life is all about hatred and grudges...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
- 09.07.2009 -
Results were released days ago..precisely, it was 2 days ago.
I realized something important...
I will never go far in life..
As I will never achieve the best in everything although I have a lil talent in things..
As I was listening to Miley Cyrus - The Climb, the part of the lyrics suited my life...
" I can almost see it...",sadly sadly..
Once again,I was feeling-less when I saw my results..
It was so borderline and 1 mark could make so much difference...
But I was glad that it is all over...nothing to fret...just have to buck up my assignments next semester..that is all I could do..
Struggling in studies is not my concept..
But knowing syllabuses in real life and know how to apply is my aim...
"I can almost see my goal"...but the 1 mark made so much difference..
But I thank destiny as what people usually say "Life is never easy"..
I realized something important...
I will never go far in life..
As I will never achieve the best in everything although I have a lil talent in things..
As I was listening to Miley Cyrus - The Climb, the part of the lyrics suited my life...
" I can almost see it...",sadly sadly..
Once again,I was feeling-less when I saw my results..
It was so borderline and 1 mark could make so much difference...
But I was glad that it is all over...nothing to fret...just have to buck up my assignments next semester..that is all I could do..
Struggling in studies is not my concept..
But knowing syllabuses in real life and know how to apply is my aim...
"I can almost see my goal"...but the 1 mark made so much difference..
But I thank destiny as what people usually say "Life is never easy"..
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
- 07.07.2009 -
What filled up my time during these few days?
The answer is 2MB,obsolete 1993 game.
I spent around 30 hours in it I assume..
The game is something like Pokemon...but it was played in my laptop..
Well,it was quite fun though..
The game is quite difficult..
As without a proper guide or walkthrough from the web,it is impossible to finish the game in 30 hours.Perhaps 30 days.
Besides,this game requires substantial determination and patience..
In solving quests and missions,the player would encounter many enemies which is inevitable..
But, the story of the game is marvelous...
Phrases that intrigued me are:"why?why do you want to kill me?"
"why don't you understand that destruction of the world is fate?"
"why don't they want to die?"
Anyway,this game rocks..
can get free download for the web.Just google "Breath Of Fire 2 SNES"
Thursday, July 2, 2009
- 02.07.2009 -
Oh my goodness.. I finally realized how happy are people around me..
I mean I could really see happiness in them...
I am so confined in my own space..
Is there any threshold for me to the light?
My life is so darkened by sadness and sorrowfulness..
Some enjoying boozes,some enjoying sports,some enjoying hanging out..
Oh my God..so many kinds of happiness...
Unity brings happiness..
But how am I gonna start and build the empire of happiness?
I couldn't simply conjure happiness and light in my life...
I need network,network and network...
But I couldn't do shit right now...
Even the most emotional person I saw would be happy in part of the 24 hours in his life...
Now my life equals to a GG.
I mean I could really see happiness in them...
I am so confined in my own space..
Is there any threshold for me to the light?
My life is so darkened by sadness and sorrowfulness..
Some enjoying boozes,some enjoying sports,some enjoying hanging out..
Oh my God..so many kinds of happiness...
Unity brings happiness..
But how am I gonna start and build the empire of happiness?
I couldn't simply conjure happiness and light in my life...
I need network,network and network...
But I couldn't do shit right now...
Even the most emotional person I saw would be happy in part of the 24 hours in his life...
Now my life equals to a GG.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
- 01.07.2009 -
Humans are naturally self-centered.
But who is as self-centered as you?
I've never seen such self-centered and brainless person like you..
Why?why I have to endure all this shit?
Love blinded me,that's why I chose this path..
What could I do?
I can't do shit...
I am extremely selfless but you are extremely self-centered.
Did you ever care?
I can forsee even the day when my death arrives,you could be happily enjoying there..
I wish my death would come real fast...
But who is as self-centered as you?
I've never seen such self-centered and brainless person like you..
Why?why I have to endure all this shit?
Love blinded me,that's why I chose this path..
What could I do?
I can't do shit...
I am extremely selfless but you are extremely self-centered.
Did you ever care?
I can forsee even the day when my death arrives,you could be happily enjoying there..
I wish my death would come real fast...
- 30. 06.2009 -
As I've forgotten most of the theories in macroeconomics, so I took the opportunity during my holidays to revise some of the knowledge about macroeconomics.
Today,I've re-grasped Fiscal and Monetary Policies again.
It's sad when someone forgets something which is considered important.
It is fortunate if ones can forget unhappy events and sorrowfulness.
However,good things are hardly to be obtained.
Bad things are easily obtainable.
Great holiday utility turns out to be futile...
As nothing great happened..
Where it happened that one spent important time doing trivial stuffs.
Sadly, human nature....
Where the lover saying I am the one,
But it turned out that the kid is not my son..
So,I had to Beat It hard ...
Where I looked into the mirror and found there is a Man In the Mirror..
Finally I become a man already because I lived 2 decades in this pointless world already...
Nothing we could do to Heal the World...
Because there is this BLACK or WHITE difference...
Hence, Smooth Criminal took place because of the stratification...
I wish one day this world would be full with Thriller,
As there is not point living anymore..
In conclusion,there is no such thing as "We are the world"..
We all live to fulfill ourselves respectively..
Today,I've re-grasped Fiscal and Monetary Policies again.
It's sad when someone forgets something which is considered important.
It is fortunate if ones can forget unhappy events and sorrowfulness.
However,good things are hardly to be obtained.
Bad things are easily obtainable.
Great holiday utility turns out to be futile...
As nothing great happened..
Where it happened that one spent important time doing trivial stuffs.
Sadly, human nature....
Where the lover saying I am the one,
But it turned out that the kid is not my son..
So,I had to Beat It hard ...
Where I looked into the mirror and found there is a Man In the Mirror..
Finally I become a man already because I lived 2 decades in this pointless world already...
Nothing we could do to Heal the World...
Because there is this BLACK or WHITE difference...
Hence, Smooth Criminal took place because of the stratification...
I wish one day this world would be full with Thriller,
As there is not point living anymore..
In conclusion,there is no such thing as "We are the world"..
We all live to fulfill ourselves respectively..
Saturday, June 27, 2009
- 27.06.2009 -
Reading and understanding terms and conditions in a signed document is really important.
As what I've learned in Law, the statement above is important - where judges would only make decision based on what an individual had signed in the contract.
Today is the day I experience what I've learned so far.So, it is a lesson to me by a prominent company called Celcom.
As what I've learned in Law, the statement above is important - where judges would only make decision based on what an individual had signed in the contract.
Today is the day I experience what I've learned so far.So, it is a lesson to me by a prominent company called Celcom.
Friday, June 26, 2009
- 26.06.2009 -
Nothing could ever put a full stop in my desire in this life.
The ultimate truth to sufferings is just death itself.
Preparing for finals; to get with the fear before death;yet nothing could encumber my desire.
A picture does not tell anyone its meaning,literally or figuratively.
A video clip could convey a message with a meaning but without conveying it's feelings.
So what could convey a holistic meaning and feelings? Nothing, I assume.
Mother Teresa's saying would make me feel even more passionate about death.
Humans are really the most idiotic race I've ever seen.Including me myself.
In fact, most of them to me are retarded. Even retarded people would be better than them. I see hidden hostility in them. Living in an hostile environment is better than a hypocrite environment. Improvement of the world would lead to greater disaster. Improvement could be regarded as "deprovement" itself.
I wish Meteor or other things would struck earth itself and perish the entire human race. Humans are good for nothing.Perhaps I am wrong, it applies to Malaysians only.But, I believe if Malaysians could do such things, others are in the possibility as well as they are one of a kind.Take a knife and stab me, conceal your identity and I would thank you!
The ultimate truth to sufferings is just death itself.
Preparing for finals; to get with the fear before death;yet nothing could encumber my desire.
A picture does not tell anyone its meaning,literally or figuratively.
A video clip could convey a message with a meaning but without conveying it's feelings.
So what could convey a holistic meaning and feelings? Nothing, I assume.
Mother Teresa's saying would make me feel even more passionate about death.
Humans are really the most idiotic race I've ever seen.Including me myself.
In fact, most of them to me are retarded. Even retarded people would be better than them. I see hidden hostility in them. Living in an hostile environment is better than a hypocrite environment. Improvement of the world would lead to greater disaster. Improvement could be regarded as "deprovement" itself.
I wish Meteor or other things would struck earth itself and perish the entire human race. Humans are good for nothing.Perhaps I am wrong, it applies to Malaysians only.But, I believe if Malaysians could do such things, others are in the possibility as well as they are one of a kind.Take a knife and stab me, conceal your identity and I would thank you!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
-SIENsasi-
"Can you take a knife and stab me?"
"I am afraid I can't do that!"
"Why!!?"
"It is because LAW does not allow me to do so"
Hence,he couldn't die..
Well,Transformer is a nice show because of it's absurdity.HEHE.
It was a Wednesday where Sunway Pyramid's cinema(TGV) was extraordinarily crowded by nuisances. What a sad day.Fortunately,due to my wisdom and intellectually beautiful mind,I was able to book two tickets and able to retrieved it before I was about to get stuck in the line and squeezing and weaving with noobs.
Again,although they burned out my oxygen, I would consider Transformer( the movie) as a nice compensation for my inadequate oxygen due to congestion.
"I am afraid I can't do that!"
"Why!!?"
"It is because LAW does not allow me to do so"
Hence,he couldn't die..
Well,Transformer is a nice show because of it's absurdity.HEHE.
It was a Wednesday where Sunway Pyramid's cinema(TGV) was extraordinarily crowded by nuisances. What a sad day.Fortunately,due to my wisdom and intellectually beautiful mind,I was able to book two tickets and able to retrieved it before I was about to get stuck in the line and squeezing and weaving with noobs.
Again,although they burned out my oxygen, I would consider Transformer( the movie) as a nice compensation for my inadequate oxygen due to congestion.
Monday, June 22, 2009
- 22.06.2009 -
How to fill up the GAP in your heart? The GAP is created by loneliness and boredom. Why?because you yourself are not able to fit into other individuals' life.Thats why there is a GAP.To close the GAP, we need to be strong,steady and persistent.Strong as in letting nothing that could affect you due to the existence of the GAP.The GAP will always remain there,but we try our best to withstand due to the dangerous GAP.secondly,steadily weave through it..thirdly persist in letting go the GAP
Saturday, June 20, 2009
- 20.06.2009 (3) -
Lol..Finally,I've done my 1st semester in the Curtin University's "Bachelor of Commerce". This semester I did four subjects as usual, which 'were' Management,Accounting,Economics and Law. The killer subject was Law. Although things we learned in this Law consisted only Law of contract, however, it was quite a tough one.Well, I liked Law the most,probably because there were no assignments at all..
ASSIGNMENTS:
Well,assignments in universities suck ass to the maximum. Of course,if I had a choice,I would choose RMIT rather than Curtin because RMIT is 90-100% examination based. Well,unlike Curtin program, sometimes, assignments may take up to 40% of the overall marks. Honestly,my assignment skills suck to the maximum,that is why I said assignments suck ass.Well, I could score one of the highest in Mid Semester test,but scored one of the lowest in assignments. This is really undesirable for a person like me.Regardless of that, it is finally over.I would struggle harder in my assignments next time, as in COPY AND PASTE more in my assignments.Constructing my own sentences will just lead me to the drain.
Accounting was okay,but finals I did quite a number of mistakes...so...= (..
Economics is the subject that made me depressed the most in the semester.Once again,due to assignment.
Management was a tough one though..It requires RESEARCH SKILLS in assignments, and also reading skill in the finals. Well,perhaps, 40% of the marks is from assignments.I managed to weave through the individual assignment,scoring quite low,but higher than my expectation and I was quite happy because I passed my individual assignment. I did almost 5 weeks of research on it,yet I scored low compared to my friend who spent 4 hours in the assignment.Once again, "COPY and PASTE" skill is essential in assignments. Well,once again,its all over,hope I could get the best marks out of it..I will not expect highly as I did real badly in some papers.
Anyway,everything is save in this semester,I managed to finish all the assignments and attended mid semester tests.
- 20.06.2009 (2) -
This guy is one of the prominent characters in Bleach/Death God series. His name is Toushirou Hitsugaya. In cantonese, we call him "dou shi lou" which is also (direct translation) "throw shit man". He is currently the 10th Squad captain in Soul Society. He is young and he is a genius.
As talented as he is, he can freeze people to death with his Zanpakutou and bankai(Hyourinmaru, the ice dragon's name I guess). Well, he is a cool guy.
- 20.06.2009 -
Its funny a real funny day.Back in 20 or 25 years ago, there are pencil boxes with an idol on it?Perhaps today,there are still this type of pencil box,maybe Hannah Montanah High School Musical? But this is a really funny one.. Andy Lau's face on the pencil box. Imagine when I use this pencil box in my college. What would other people say? What would other people think? Oh my god..
Fortunately, this is an obsolete kind of pencil box which can be also considered as a vintage item, as most of them I assume had been recycled already. XD xD..
That's a funny one, Andy Lau's face with a "SUPER IDOL" beside it..xD
Thursday, June 18, 2009
- 19.06.2009(2) Anti Social -
What does anti social mean? Generally,anti social means unwilling to meet and be friendly with other people or behavior is annoying or upsetting to other people(http://www.google.com/dictionary?aq=f&langpair=en|en&q=anti+social&hl=en).
Well,this is so general as if people start using the term anti social. For me,an anti social person means that person suffered from stigmatization from the society. In what sense? In this world, nothing could completely accommodate the other thing. In other words, it means nothing can complete one another. Even the most complete model answer and marking scheme would not be complete. "Completing homework" is just a console for a student for his/her relief. Even we try spanning and spanning searching for the most complete facts for assignments,we could never meet the true complete form of a question. Even the question 1+1= ? would not be complete if we answer 2.
Sadly, anti social is caused by the high degree gap(incompleteness)which is not reached by and individual, which turns the individual to an anti social person. Generally speaking, humans to me is a pain in the ass. I could not have as many friends as other people do, which indirectly turned me into an anti social person. Well,this is not the point.The main point is the emptiness in me which turned me into a kind of person(anti social person). In my life, I have came across substantial kinds of people. They are not anti social because they are in the same stream and class where they share the same feeling,have same norms and do the same thing. For instance,100 people, 99 of them enjoy playing football and that 1 person who does not enjoy. We could regard that person as antisocial because he does not share the similar interest and hobby with the another 99 people.
Well,this is so general as if people start using the term anti social. For me,an anti social person means that person suffered from stigmatization from the society. In what sense? In this world, nothing could completely accommodate the other thing. In other words, it means nothing can complete one another. Even the most complete model answer and marking scheme would not be complete. "Completing homework" is just a console for a student for his/her relief. Even we try spanning and spanning searching for the most complete facts for assignments,we could never meet the true complete form of a question. Even the question 1+1= ? would not be complete if we answer 2.
Sadly, anti social is caused by the high degree gap(incompleteness)which is not reached by and individual, which turns the individual to an anti social person. Generally speaking, humans to me is a pain in the ass. I could not have as many friends as other people do, which indirectly turned me into an anti social person. Well,this is not the point.The main point is the emptiness in me which turned me into a kind of person(anti social person). In my life, I have came across substantial kinds of people. They are not anti social because they are in the same stream and class where they share the same feeling,have same norms and do the same thing. For instance,100 people, 99 of them enjoy playing football and that 1 person who does not enjoy. We could regard that person as antisocial because he does not share the similar interest and hobby with the another 99 people.
- 19.06.2009 -
When an asset is fully depreciated, there goes it's value..
When a human dies,there goes his/her life..
As examination is over,I feel nice for the first time in this year..
The feeling is as calm as a wave-less ocean..
In other words, there is no such thing as wave-less ocean..
Which also indicates that my calm feeling is not true,or does not even exist from the start..What should I do during my free time?
Rest and recuperate? Well, if resting helps, I am pretty sure there are other better alternatives compared to resting,and resting would be an opportunity cost for me.
Nothing could prevent time from moving.Seconds by seconds,slowly depreciating objects in the world...What could I possibly do?
My back aches badly..That's a sad thing..
Am I getting old?
Perhaps I should start gaming?Or reading?Easy to list out,hard to choose..
When a human dies,there goes his/her life..
As examination is over,I feel nice for the first time in this year..
The feeling is as calm as a wave-less ocean..
In other words, there is no such thing as wave-less ocean..
Which also indicates that my calm feeling is not true,or does not even exist from the start..What should I do during my free time?
Rest and recuperate? Well, if resting helps, I am pretty sure there are other better alternatives compared to resting,and resting would be an opportunity cost for me.
Nothing could prevent time from moving.Seconds by seconds,slowly depreciating objects in the world...What could I possibly do?
My back aches badly..That's a sad thing..
Am I getting old?
Perhaps I should start gaming?Or reading?Easy to list out,hard to choose..
Thursday, June 11, 2009
- 12.06.2009 -
Will an ordinary bloke capable of changing the entire world with his perception,perspective or notion? It might happen,Adolf Hitler, one of his kind,changed part of the world by his actions. He is cool in fact.Could that ordinary bloke change the entire world again?That bloke is happy seeing people dying in the world,encourages natural disaster; tornado,tsunami,eruption of volcanoes and severe earthquakes..Why?Its not because he is mad,but he could forsee what is going to happen when human population goes down... Humans...a pain in the ass..
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Wednesday,June 10,2009
Changes all the time,time does not change anything,just depreciates everything,time just creates global depreciation in all things in this world. Trade off of the depreciation is wisdom,knowledge,experience and less ignorant.Less ignorant describes everyone in this world.The degree of ignorance increases when ones' do not think,and thinking irrationally and self-centered will make one more ignorant. I saw substantial people which are ignorant in GGC. Most of them, to be honest,I do not have hope in them as humans which will rule the world,by their far-king attitudes. Time makes people and humans worst in attitude. Even I felt myself changing to a kind,one of a kind..I wish,I wish, I really wish my depreciation rate would be faster where my residual value is low,and and and and my life span is shortened by 3 quarter.Then my organic depreciation rate would be as high as the sky.
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