l

I just don't feel like waking up anymore although I really don't wanna leave you...

reality

Reality is just too real.
When you get low marks, you complain about it.
But when I think of it, until the moment I thought I am really gonna die, I didnt care much about other things, I just wanna live...
Well, it can be seen that I am normal again because I still see hope in life... Its just too pain to leave just like that. I guess I've realized how important life is...

=

If you know that you not wake up after you fall asleep, will you sleep?

My friend answered if go heaven, he would sleep.

Hypocrites.

It is even harder to endure while you are facing substantial hypocrites around you, especially you deem them to be your close ones.. It is so saddening.. When they needed help, they seek for you and when everything is over, nothing in common anymore between us. Well, I always told myself not to believe in this ideology which means I chose to be ignorant while I am not. I really believe in people that I really want to believe in. Although the statement looks tautological and self-evident, but the truth is I choose people to put trust on. Well, it looks like this batch is a failed and unsuccessful investment especially in friendships. I will even be more cautious due to adverse event that I faced recently.
Why hypocrisy will always outlast truth? This is because when one honest person cannot outlast a bunch of hypocrites, the person joins them just like "when you cannot defeat them, join them". I still remembered clearly we discussed and talked about hypocrites where we both hated them all. Well, perhaps for me its still hate but not for you anymore.
Fair enough, I am not God. You can't expect me to do everything.. Although on the surface I might look strong, I need someone to support me. How can stand loneliness all by him/herself? I can, but until the day I die, I will have regrets.

- adverse impact-

Couldn't endure much longer as everything is going against me..I feel so alone and deprived of the basic things. Perhaps my expectation is really too high until I can't take even one single event that goes against me. What I can do is just wait for another week.. Hopefully everything will be alright..I am really so weak to go against nature and fate..

I couldn't imagine how I lived through the year in an island by myself. My endurance was really good and accompanied by some luck and hence I made it through. If God really exists, I would thank God for giving me such fortune and I really can't endure any longer...

- Heightened Emotions -

It is obvious that everyone can see that I can't wait to go back Malaysia, the land where I belong to. As I did quite badly in my exams, it still didn't stop me from thinking that "I Yammm going home"..
Can't wait to see my parents and family members so badly..

On the other hand, events in Perth really heightened my emotions to the maximum. Nothing I could describe. I have nice friends here and a few not that good ones as well. Like I said, you can never have a complete delicious pie. I will be coming back soon....for graduation..hopefully and next year to further my studies....

what you see.

What you see is what you feel, but what you feel is not what you see.
This might be a little bit confusing as they are deemed to both equal.
However, it is absolute to say that; we cannot deny that the feeling that existed in us after seeing certain events.
On the other hand, what you feel is not what you see is different in a sense that we can alter what we see based on how we feel beforehand. We can always wear a "certain aspect glass" to view what we see.
It is reasonable in my point of view...